I’m so glad I got to film Kat and Bear’s wedding at Saratoga Springs in Saratoga, CA! As a queer videographer, I am always devoted to empowering underrepresented people, especially those who are breaking the social scripts of what a wedding is “supposed” to be. This wedding was different–and FUN–every step of the way! From the cute Renn Faire theme, to the beautiful and grounding outdoor venue, to the increased emphasis they requested on community, to the elaborate handmade treasure hunt (yes, TREASURE HUNT), Kat and Bear had a unique vision and saw it through in every way.
And this couple’s ceremony wasn’t JUST delightful and charming. It also contains great advice about how to put a personal spin on the usual traditions, and how to make YOUR wedding feel like YOU.
THE COUPLE
Even the way Kat and Bear first met is special: punching each other in krav maga.
About a decade before the ceremony, Kat (they/them) signed up for a student-run self-defense class on their college campus, one that Bear (he/they) happened to be teaching. They had many common interests outside of the class, including playing Dungeons & Dragons, hosting murder mystery parties, and many more endearingly nerdy things.
Somewhere along the way, Bear fell for Kat’s tenacity, as well as their many talents and crafts, and Kat fell for Bear’s earnestness, excitability, and rock-steady presence. They became central to each other’s lives, and after ten years together, they decided to celebrate their love with the community they had built together along the way.
From the beginning, it was clear that this collection of loved ones was central to Kat and Bear’s vision of their wedding. They were also interested in bringing wonder and whimsy into their wedding, and enchanting their guests along the way. As lifelong fantasy fans, and frequent event planners in their own right (murder mystery parties are a LOT of work, y’all), the couple was ready to handcraft a unique ceremony experience that was unlike any I’ve ever been to.
The result was a ceremony that felt like it took place in a fairyland. The friends and family in attendance were not just guests, but participants in a playful evening that was completely unique to the couple. Not a single aspect of this wedding felt like it was done just because it was supposed to be done. And that’s the kind of authentic love I like to capture!
THE VENUE
For a wedding that felt like it was designed by woodland creatures, an outdoor venue in the Bay Area was the perfect choice! Saratoga Springs is in the Santa Cruz mountains, both in the heart of the California Redwoods and a short trip away from Silicon Valley.
The location offers three different venue options for prospective clients: the Redwood Grove, the Cathedral Grove, and the Longbridge, all of which are accommodated by pastoral stone and brickwork, warm string and market lights for evening events, and dense surrounding woodlands that make the venue feel cozy and serene.
Kat and Bear chose the Redwood Grove, the smallest venue of the three. This helped create a perfect, intimate feeling for their ceremony, like they and the guests were in their own little world for the evening. But, they also had plenty of time to explore the environment before the ceremony! 30 minutes in each venue is included with rental, offering plenty of time to settle in and enjoy the sites–and get beautiful pictures at some of the other sites! Shoutout Jenny Chapman for those!
This venue was the perfect choice for Kat and Bear! In Chicago, where I’m from, outdoor venues can be tricky. There often needs to be accommodations or backup plans so that the wedding can carry on rain or shine. But the temperate and predictable weather of a place like Saratoga Springs helped ensure all of Kat and Bear’s hard work didn’t go to waste! Their vision, and all the DIY work they did to get there, got to shine in all its glory.
THE DAY OF
Before I arrived to film first looks, many things had already fallen into place to make this unique wedding happen. For one, Kat and Bear were gifted a sword and an axe (yes, a SWORD and an AXE) to add to their wardrobes. These complimented their looks and their personalities perfectly, and made for one of my favorite shots in the highlight video.
I was also told they had started the day with door games, but had put their own non-binary spin on it. In this common Asian wedding tradition, the groom is put through a series of tests in order to prove his love for the bride and earn the right to enter her home. These “tests” are often lighthearted in nature, like small games or pranks the groom (and sometimes groomsmen) have to endure at the hands of the bridesmaids, and other members of the bride’s family.
While fun and games were right up Kat and Bear’s alley, the traditional gender roles of the door games weren’t. But instead of blindly going along with something that could’ve been uncomfortable, or skipping the door games entirely, they found a way to make the tradition their own. The couple had asked themselves what they really wanted out of a traditional wedding expectation, and they found a way to keep it while adapting the rest.
This same creative spirit came into their post-ceremony treasure hunt, something that was meticulously handcrafted and planned with an attention to detail that delighted me. While it would be more common and perfectly suitable to have a cocktail hour between the wedding and the reception, Kat and Bear instead decided to invite their guests into a game, and to take full advantage of their wedding’s charming setting and fantasy theme.
Guests were guided through a series of stations, all with the help of a rustic-looking map of clues. Each station was decorated with handmade dioramas and crafts, all of which contained clues upon a second glance. It all led to an assortment of treasure chests, journals, ceramics, and lanterns, many of which were handmade, personalized to each table of wedding guests as a reward for their hunt. The level of commitment and detail was incredible, and it must have taken the couple countless hours to prepare.
But this is what can happen when a couple is truly excited about something at their wedding, when they aren’t just doing something because they’re supposed to, but because they want to.
This also had the added benefit of filling time before the venue was ready for first dances. Again, Kat and Bear were able to look at the reasons why a common tradition existed–having a cocktail hour at a single-venue wedding gives everything time to switch from “ceremony mode” to “party mode–” and they’d found a way to keep what they wanted while replacing the rest with something else. They’d taken their love of hosting themed parties in their own home, and transformed that passion into something magical for their already magical day.
The rest of the ceremony went perfectly, and there was clearly love in the air coming from everyone in the grove. When it came time to cut their tree-stump-shaped cake, they did it with the axe they’d been gifted. From there, the real party began, and we danced to a great selection of music until the end of the night. It was the first time I’d heard ska at a wedding, too! Just another unique touch in an evening full of them.
One thing Kat and Bear asked for ahead of time was a “reverse kiss” shot. That means filming their first kiss as a married couple from the front with the audience in the background, not from the aisles in the way the guests at the wedding would see it. This puts the focus less on the details of the venue, but on the people in attendance. It created a beautiful shot where all of Kat and Bear’s community are fully visible, applauding and celebrating right there with them. It perfectly captured what they wanted their wedding to be all about.
As Kat said in their wedding vows, “For this past decade, and every future decade we have together, I choose you.” And as Bear said in his, “I’m so glad that our relationship has come so far beyond traded punches and getting out of bear hugs.”
Me too, Bear! Me too.
TIPS FOR YOUR CEREMONY
There are a lot of things that went perfectly in Kat and Bear’s ceremony! There was also a lot of experience and planning in order to make that happen. Here are some things vendors and engaged couples alike could learn from this day:
The right venue will elevate your theme. Kat and Bear picked somewhere to be married that perfectly aligned with their vision of the ceremony. Their idea of creating a fantastical, woodland fairy experience would have been delightful anywhere, but it became truly magical in the Redwood Grove because of how well the setting aligned with their ideas.
If your wedding has a non-traditional theme, a non-traditional venue that can fit your ideas might be your best bet! Just make sure you know what kind of climate you can expect if you’re choosing to have your wedding outdoors.
If you want to DIY, lean into your skills. The logistics of getting married are already very difficult. Many people are suddenly thrown into the role of an event manager for over a hundred people, let alone without any prior experience at making such a thing work. DIY elements can save money, but they also come with even more work, and the added risk of inexperience causing things to go wrong.
Kat and Bear had many DIY elements in their wedding, most notably their treasure hunt. However, they’d had plenty of experience hosting smaller events for years before their wedding, and they found a theme that let them lean into their specific skills so they weren’t taking on something entirely new. If you wish to have DIY elements for your own wedding, it will likely help to lean into the skills you already have, and to find ways to put a spin on (or entirely change!) traditions based on the things you can already do. If you’re going to go the extra mile to make something yourself in the middle of all the other wedding chaos, make sure it’s something you’ll have fun making.
Dogs will be dogs, so plan accordingly. This is a smaller, more practical piece of advice that I didn’t mention in the story above, but it still feels worth pointing out for anyone else who will have their dog at their wedding, or anyone who may want their dog to walk the aisle!
Kat and Bear brought their dog, Alys, along to the ceremony, and specifically wished to have her run down the aisle after them. In order to make this happen, they had designated somebody in their community to dogwatching duty during the ceremony. When it was time for Alys to run, she was let off her leash and naturally ran toward the two of them. Afterwards, she was taken elsewhere by the designated dogwatcher until the ceremony had concluded.
This may sound simple, but I’ve been a part of many ceremonies where people’s dogs get antsy and start to bark. They may struggle with being in an unfamiliar environment, and not understand why they can’t run up to their owners and play. In other words: dogs are gonna dog, so it’s best to anticipate the things that might cause them to bark or try and run off during the ceremony, and try to plan around them.
Huge shoutout to the vendor team that made it all possible!
- Photo – @jennichapmanphotography
- Video – @reploglestudios
- Venue – @saratogaspringsweddings
- Dessert – @laurelbakessc
- Catering – @dd_catering_inc
- Florals – @expressionsfloraldesign
- DJ – @djlinhngo
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